Then my typically one-hour commute turned into two hours because of what was likely a really bad accident. I stayed present with my impatience and sent out kind thoughts to all who were involved. I had to pee. Really, really badly. I thought about opening my car door and the back driver's side door and popping a squat between them. I thought about emptying my coffee cup and peeing in it and trying to dump it out the window enough times to drain my bladder. I thought about how horrible it made my body feel. I thought about how much I hate driving such a long distance to work, and how unfair it is that so many jobs I've applied for aren't giving me a chance, and how most of them are only posted for show anyways because they already know who they're going to hire because so-and-so knows so-and-so, and my blood boiled with anger and my eye started twitching and... you get the picture. I'm really hormonal this week, which isn't helping anything.
Then I got to work, late, which my boss is more than understanding about. He's a really good guy, and one of the few reasons I haven't just quit this job to work at Walmart until I find something in social work. Work has been insane. I can't even go into detail. Just insane. Maniacal laughter insane. In fact, I started on this blog entry two hours ago. And when the UPS guy just dropped off a next-day-air package, he told me that he's got more than twenty boxes for us at our regular delivery time. MANIACAL LAUGHTER INSANE.
But anyways, the point is this: I am now going to write down some daily intentions. To keep me focused. To sink my roots a little more deeply into today.
- I intend to remain in the present moment, even the hormonally-charged, blood-boiling moments. I intent to meet all these emotions with an open heart and shine light on them, rather than trying to shove past them and keep them in the dark.
- I intend to stretch my body out again at some point. Already did some yoga but my muscles are super sore. In a good way.
- I intent to make at least five people smile today, and at least three people laugh.